Posted by Ruby Wright in ,

GUBcation has been amazing and busy. I want to apologize for the lack of posting. I have been enjoying my family and my kids and my hometown! The weather continues to court me and lure me to come and play. It’s amazing to be back in California with my little people.
I find myself telling the kids how amazing this state they were born in is. I won’t lie I also ask them if they want to stay lol as if we had a choice.

But I’ll be honest something heavy has been weighing on me for the past week that has kinda killed my mojo to do anything including blog.
While I love GUB and all my family has worked hard for I get reminders occasionally to why I did start this blog.

Allow me to be open…. While I should have been in the best place in life and been counting my blessings I realized that marrying outside my culture was still a challenge. A challenge within my own family and my own self peace.

As many of you know my husband visited and the kids and I enjoyed having him in California but still things can be hard to understand.  My family means well and my parents are amazing but sometimes they forget that I married someone from a different culture and the way we do things as a family is a compromise of our beliefs and wishes.

On the other hand my husband’s way of dealing with things is sometimes shocking because of the way my culture is. While I am not prepared to talk back to my parents he has no problem speaking his mind and fighting for what he believes.

I find myself trapped in the middle trying to please both sides. It’s an awfully awkward position to be in. I had to really step back and assess the situation and act carefully many times because at either time there can be a misunderstanding.

I’ve learned that it will never be easy to keep both sides of my families happy. There is space for growth and in the end what matter is that my kids are happy and healthy. While I know my husband and I have our beliefs and ways of parenting I have to continue to stand my ground and remind our parents that we learn by trial and error. That we need our space to parent. I remind my parents that I am choosing to parent my kids the way my husband and I have decided. While there is times where I choose my battles they must respect my parenting authority and not parent and confuse my kids or disregard my wishes.

My husband is not one to take disregarding lightly. I know he tries and it can be extremely annoying to be in the situation of question but I think this is where we really need to learn to pick our battles. There are some things we can let slide because it’s not like we are with our families all the time.

On my lastest post on babble I talk about how I have learned to handle situations like these.
Remember the journey is never ending but finding a way of peace helps.

All is well and as we wrap up our visit and end GUBcation I know that the kids had the most amazing time in California and to me that is all that matters. We've made memories once again. They've learned who my family is and they love all of them. I am happy that the hubs visited and the kids were able to experience some of our GUBcation visit with him. I hope next year we can do it all over again.


  1. Maintaining traditions and cultures are hard as it is since we're not 1st generations but for you to put yourself out there is a great step in building your own culture and traditions for your Blackxican family. I really respect you amiga xoxo Big big hugs!

  2. It is so hard when you have a disagreement with a spouse and your family. It sucks being stuck in the middle. I feel your pain. Thank you for being honest about your struggles. It helps many of us out here that are going thru the same things.

  3. Aww, Ruby, sometimes I feel the same way. My husband is only half black but in terms of how his family interacts (the Latino side, I might add!), we are worlds apart. Sometimes its not just the cultural divide--its the difference in how families conduct themselves. I laughed when I read, "I am not prepared to talk back to my parents he has no problem speaking his mind"--that is my life! lol I always feel stuck in the middle, trying to please everyone.

    Hope you've settled back in with the fam in NJ. xoxo


Hi GUB friends Thanks for stopping by!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
mommy to Angel Baby August 2007
Site MeterPage Rank

Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
All photos, crafts, recipes, and texts are protected and may not be used or distributed without the permission of the owner.